King Street Personalities
I never thought that there’d be a place with local personalities to rival Adelaide’s own Johnny Haysman. However 6 months or so of living in the vicinity of King Street, Newtown has led me to the conclusion that Johnny has some stiff competitors. They include:
1. Dave. Needs no introduction. Often accompanied by his chilhuahua.
2. Bird Man. My personal favourite King Street personality. He makes amazingly accurate bird noises with which he often charms small children. Their parents usually don’t seem to understand that he means no harm - this is probably because he is generally swigging from a longneck and trying to fish food out of his beard whilst performing said bird noises.
3. Raving Electric Scooter Guy. When RESG is in full flight, he can be heard screaming abuse at any random and playing either death metal or Wagner at top volume, whilst riding his electric scooter (like the ones that are usually found in shopping malls attached to grandmas). He has many muscles, many tattoos and dresses exclusively in black. On a mellow day, RESG can be found in the town square with his chums, one of whom is …
4. Newtown Pirate. This guy seems like your average shuffling King Street pedestrian. Until he sticks his face about 0.5 cm from yours and lets forth with, ‘Arrrrr! ye beauty! Arr!!’ and then keeps walking.
5. Cane Man. CM can usually be seen executing fancy footwork tricks with the aid of a walking stick (i.e. a cane). There has been recent speculation that CM is trying to out-personality the other King Street personalities by adopting all of their characteristics. He has been seen walking the street with a small dog, and on another occasion he was witnessed making bird noises.
Where I lived there was a lady who would spend all day rattling a can, collecting for the salvos. She would sing all day and would catch my bus. Funny thing was, if you didn’t give her any money as you passed (and only if you were a kid), she would berate and scold you; she’d scream at you until you were out of earshot. She wouldn’t scream at the adults though, which was puzzling.
Comment by Anonymous Howard — 3/27/2005 @ 3:15 pm
I have talked to two of these guys, namely 2., who has a pronounced Dutch accent, and readily admits to being from the Netherlands, in between warbles, and 5., who if I identify him rightly by your description is an ex-convict who since his release about a year or two ago has dedicated himself to demonstrating his self-developed practices of sensory awareness to the denizons of Newtown, because that’s where his dad came from.
Comment by mark — 3/31/2005 @ 2:09 pm
New personality (qualifies for the title after being spotted 3 times on 3 consecutive days on King Street) - Drunk Shirtless Guy. I feel really sorry for DSG - he once told me he was ‘dying inside’. But he seems to have become quite friendly with Bird Man recently, which might help perk him up.
Comment by ann — 4/8/2005 @ 10:59 am
[…] rd-abs cuntingness of Chapel street. Have a little faith.” In related news, I saw Bird Man on King Street yesterday. When I returned from Overseasia he s […]
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